I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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