I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
