You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
