i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
