he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
