Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm always down for nudity.
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