he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
