they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize