I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
