I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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