I wish i was in the wii world.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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