id be glad to
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Banned from zoo.
Again?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
