Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
