so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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