you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My legs feel like baby dolphins
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Success! We fucked roommates!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
