Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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