I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
