OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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