we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
