i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
