it wasn't lemon gatorade
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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