we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
