The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
