Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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