i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
