who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
dude. I can hear the air.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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