it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
