I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
"it" just moved
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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