She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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