Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
