Whod you bang
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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