ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
