Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
