You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
