I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
