I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
