I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
