Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
