the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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