i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
