the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
