i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I haven't been this sober since birth.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
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