did you get engaged???
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
