I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
