if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
