whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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