I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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