Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
