U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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