# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
