you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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