doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Randomize
