North Korea, Best Korea!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
