I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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