im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
