i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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