She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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