you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
