i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
