let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize