I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
