apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
