I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
