I can tuck mytits in my pants
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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