This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize