Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
