It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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