I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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