So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
