If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
