love makes seman taste better
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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