Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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